Confidence Under Construction: What Every Parent Needs to Know About Tween and Teen Body Image

drcharnetta
May 13
3 min read

Puberty can feel like a plot twist no one asked for. One day your child is carefree and confident, laughing freely, posing for silly selfies, and the next, they’re scrutinizing every inch of themselves in the mirror. Comparing. Questioning. Sometimes even criticizing.

I’m Dr. Charnetta, Board-Certified Pediatrician, Communication Strategist, Parent & Teen Coach and I’m deeply passionate about helping families thrive during the wild, wonderful journey of raising tweens and teens. From unexpected growth spurts and mood swings to breakouts and body changes, adolescence can shake even the most secure kids. And in a world where picture-perfect images and highlight reels dominate their feeds, it's no surprise that self-doubt creeps in.

But here’s the good news: You can help your tween or teen navigate this tricky chapter with confidence and self-compassion. Let’s unpack the biggest body image struggles—and how to guide your child in building confidence that lasts far beyond the awkward phase.

1. “Why don’t I look like everyone else?”

Whether they’re the first in their class to hit a growth spurt or the last to need deodorant, tweens and teens often feel hyper-aware of how their bodies compare to others. Early bloomers may face unwanted attention or feel "too different," while late bloomers may feel left behind.

What Helps:

Reassure your child that everyone develops on their own timeline.
Share stories of your own awkward phases to normalize the experience.
Focus on function over form—celebrate what their body can do, not just how it looks.

2. “Why is my face doing this?!”

Breakouts. Braces. Voice cracks. These feel huge to tweens, even when adults know they’re temporary. These physical changes can leave kids wanting to hide—literally and emotionally.

What Helps:

Avoid minimizing their feelings with “It’s not a big deal.” It feels like one.
Provide practical support (dermatology appointments, hygiene tools) and emotional support.
Teach affirmations like: “My skin doesn’t define me. I’m more than what I see.”

3. “I’ll never look like them.”

Between filters, photo editing, and influencers who spend hours curating content, it’s easy for teens to believe they’re the only ones who don’t measure up. This breeds a dangerous gap between reality and expectation.

What Helps:

Encourage “media literacy:” discuss how content is often edited or staged.
Follow diverse, body-positive creators together.
Create a “social media refresh” where your teen curates a feed that feels real and uplifting.

4. “I’m not good enough.”

Some kids feel confident on the court or field, others feel like they’re constantly falling short. Tween and teen bodies are changing rapidly, and athletic ability often develops at different rates.

What Helps:

Praise effort over outcome. “I’m proud of how hard you tried,” not just, “You scored!”
Help them explore activities they enjoy, not just the ones they feel pressured to pursue.
Remind them that confidence isn’t about being the best, it’s about being brave enough to show up.

The Confidence Reset: Help Them Focus on What’s Real

So how do we help tweens and teens rebuild confidence when body image is taking a hit?

Try these daily confidence builders:

Mirror Talk: Encourage your teen to start their day by saying 3 kind things to themselves in the mirror.
Compliment Challenge: For every self-critical thought, follow it up with a self-compliment.
Movement That Feels Good: Instead of focusing on changing their body, help them discover joyful movement - dance, walking, biking, yoga, etc.

Final Thoughts:

Puberty may be a phase, but the emotional impact of body changes can last long beyond it, unless we intentionally help teens build true self-worth. Let’s teach them that confidence isn’t about fitting into a mold, it’s about growing into who they’re meant to be.

Because the most powerful kind of confidence? It starts from within.

Want More Tools to Build Confidence in Your Tween or Teen? Download my free printable: “Mirror Talk: Daily Affirmations for Teens” HERE.

Talk soon,

Dr. Charnetta